I’m not sure if this is lame or great – an Aussie slang edition of Scrabble. It not only allows you to use Aussie slang words but give you bonus points if you do. Some of the words allowed: arvo, ambos, barbie, biffo, brekkie, cozzie, dipstick, footy, gday, heaps, journo, lippy, moolah, nuddy, ocker, pash, pav, prezzy, rapt, salvos, sickie, straya, tinny, togs, uey, vinnies, wowser, yabby. What about the word that so far I’ve only ever heard from ex-Windsor High students – cags, usually used in the sentence “kick ’im in the cags”.
Sneaky George III
Our editor has started swimming at Blacktown pool every morning to get fit. But he’s been finding the changerooms challenging. His first morning he was confronted by the sight of four retirees all gasbagging away happily to each other in the communal shower area, naked as the day they were born. The second day he happily scored a shower cubicle – then looked down at the floor which included a communal drain which ran under all the cubicles – and saw the cubicle next to him had a small George the Third lying on the floor. Stifling a gag reflex he was then horrified to see someone go into that cubicle, luckily missing the turd, and start showering, apparently oblivious to the brown landmine next to their foot.
Fire prep – or not
Mountain Lagoon Rural Fire Brigade’s newsletter, called Firefront, had a piece called ‘Slacker prepares for fire season’. Here’s a shorter version.
‘Every spring we get the same message from our brigade warning us to prepare our properties for the fire season. Each year I am determined to follow the advice ... but never do. This year will be different. I will go through the list in a systematic and rigorous manner.
1. Clean gutters – as soon as I get my extension ladder back off Guru.
2. Remove all fine fuels from around house – but those sticks sure are handy as kindling when winter comes around.
3. Have petrol pump operational and connected to a water supply - good in theory, but my firefighter pump is sluicing out the piggery.
4. Have threatened part of property accessible for fire trucks – I’ve been meaning to clear the back track for years but I’ll first have to move those three dead utes, and the two old tractors I am going to do up one day.
5. Make donation to brigade - a big one!’
