You couldn't make this up. Well, yes you could.
It's true. Which is to say, it's false.
We're talking about Donald Trump. Of course.
Fresh from composing his own poll to prove that the mainstream media really, really dislikes him and is awfully unfair – and to make a bunch of money as a poll sideline, naturally – Trump has taken to inventing terrorist attacks in small Scandinavian countries.
Yes, he has, though he's offering "alternative facts" about that, too.
Listing places that have taken in large numbers of refugees and suffered terrorist attacks, like Brussels, Paris and Nice, Trump's imagination ran away with him late last week.
"You look at what's happening in Germany, you look at what's happening last night in Sweden," he hollered.
So far as anyone in Sweden could figure out, nothing out of the ordinary had happened the previous night.
Oh, there'd been quite a lot of akvavit consumed, followed by an unrealistically large number of sightings of the aurora borealis. There was feasting on pickled herrings, pea soup and meatballs, as usual. Lots of frozen-lake fishing holes were bored. Julian Assange still hadn't answered his summons for alleged sexual assault. IKEA continued its worldwide assault on the peace of do-it-yourself households.
But for the excited Trump, terror was afoot.
"Sweden! Who would believe this? Sweden! They took in large numbers, they're having problems like they never thought possible," he honked.
Oh. Of course. The Swedes had granted asylum to large numbers of the world's dispossessed.
If that wasn't asking for trouble, Trump would invent it for them.
Last night! Who would believe it?
No one in Sweden would believe it, for starters, forcing Trump to think up something to justify himself.
He hadn't been talking about a terrorist incident, if you were to believe his explanation on – what else? – Twitter.
"My statement as to what's happening in Sweden was in reference to a story that was broadcast on @FoxNews concerning immigrants & Sweden," he tweeted.
Oh, a story on Fox News. Phew. Close call.
The story, it appears, was an interview with a filmmaker named Ami Horowitz who maintains Sweden is undergoing a major crime wave he attributes to immigrants, and which he says is being covered up.
"Sweden had its first terrorist Islamic attack not that long ago, so they're now getting a taste of what we've been seeing across Europe already," Horowitz asserted in the interview.
Not that long ago? There has indeed been an Islamist suicide bombing in Sweden. It was seven years ago, when two people were injured.
Meanwhile, Trump's "Mainstream Media Accountability Survey" ("on which issues does the mainstream media do the worst job of representing Republicans?" it asks, among its 25 mostly leading questions) has hit some turbulence.
Apparently Trump wanted only supporters to respond to his poll, and was deeply unimpressed when opponents responded to it.
"Mainstream media outlets have viciously attacked it," a statement by the Trump camp complained. "… and thousands of Democrats have taken it to try to sabotage the results."
Imagine that. The opposition thought the opinion poll was an actual opinion poll.
Not to worry. Once you've finished the survey, you're directed to a site begging for donations.
You can never have enough money, even if you can't handle the truth.
