Daunting schedule of sporting events looming

Cricket, cycling, netball, tennis and athletics is just the start!
Cricket, cycling, netball, tennis and athletics is just the start!

It's a schedule to delight divorce lawyers.

Between now and October, Australia's elite sportsmen and women are set for more frenetic activity than Donald Trump at an all-you-can eat buffet.

And the country's equally devoted sport viewing public can expect a similarly exhausting banquet.

A casual five world cups (cricket, soccer, netball, basketball and rugby), two Ashes series plus the biggest individual events in tennis, cycling and athletics are all looming.

So call the boss and make up some excuse for not turning up for a while, check the batteries in the TV remote, stock up the esky and snuggle down for four months of selfish, sleep-depriving, family-ignoring, lovely, lovely sport viewing.

And just to help, here's your somewhat slanted guide to the action.

Men's Cricket World Cup

When: May 30 to July 14

Where: UK

Plot: Popular figures Steve Smith and David Warner are warmly welcomed back to the international arena by the forgiving fans of the host nation.

Tassie subplot: With no Tasmanians in the squad, the nation turned to its all-time leading World Cup run-scorer (1743), century-maker (five) and boundary-hitter (176) Ricky Ponting to help coach.

Ricky Ponting makes a point about Australian selections. Picture: Scott Gelston

Ricky Ponting makes a point about Australian selections. Picture: Scott Gelston

Women's Soccer World Cup

When: June 7 to July 8

Where: France

Plot: Sam Kerr and co. have a realistic opportunity to make Australia a global player in the world game. No really.

Tassie subplot: Forward Lisa DeVanna hails from Perth. What do you mean there's a Perth in WA?

 Take me on: Caitlin Foord against the US in April. Picture: AP Photo/David Zalubowski

Take me on: Caitlin Foord against the US in April. Picture: AP Photo/David Zalubowski

Wimbledon

When: July 1-14

Where: London, England

Plot: Another opportunity to see the likes of Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic embarrass their nations with petulant displays of immaturity against upstanding Aussie role models Bernard Tomic and Nick Kyrgios.

Tassie subplot: Tomic rates the 2009 Burnie International among his career highlights, maybe.

Bernard Tomic ... big Burnie fan.

Bernard Tomic ... big Burnie fan.

Netball World Cup

When: July 12-21

Where: Liverpool, England

Plot: Australia's women have won the netball world cup six times more often than their men have won the cricket version, but retain one per cent of their profile.

Tassie subplot: If Caitlin Bassett and co. claim a 12th world title, they could chart their success back to lessons learned from the loss to arch-rivals New Zealand at the Launceston Silverdome on a chilly October night in 2016.

Build up: The planet's top two netball nations, Australia and New Zealand, get acquainted at the Silverdome in Prospect in 2016. Picture: Phillip Biggs

Build up: The planet's top two netball nations, Australia and New Zealand, get acquainted at the Silverdome in Prospect in 2016. Picture: Phillip Biggs

Women's Ashes

When: July 2 to August 4

Where: UK

Plot: A multi-format series comprising three T20s, three ODIs and one five-day Test match is likely to cause far more headaches for Meg Lanning's world-beaters than the host nation.

Tassie subplot: Ellyse Perry's escalation to arguably the world's best female player can be traced directly back to tips from excitable Scotch Oakburn students during a visit to the college in 2014.

Australian cricketer Ellyse Perry with Scotch Oakburn students in 2014. Picture: Paul Scambler

Australian cricketer Ellyse Perry with Scotch Oakburn students in 2014. Picture: Paul Scambler

Tour de France

When: July 6-28

Where: France mostly

Plot: Who can break the virtual monopoly that has seen British riders Bradley Wiggins, Chris Froome and Geraint Thomas claim six of the last seven titles?

Tassie subplot: Richie Porte, that's who. Maybe with a little help from Will Clarke.

Will Clarke and Richie Porte, Tour de France certainties. Picture: Scott Gelston

Will Clarke and Richie Porte, Tour de France certainties. Picture: Scott Gelston

Men's Ashes

When: August 1 to September 16

Where: UK

Plot: Smith and Warner renew their jovial relationship with the Barmy Army hoping to break the run that has seen the last four Ashes series won by the hosts.

Tassie subplot: When he's not hogging the media spotlight for nailing baskets from the half-court line, wicket-keeping captain Tim Paine has quietly and methodically gone about steering the Australian men's cricket team out from the foul, depraved and despised cesspit where it had been marooned by his leadership predecessors.

Men's Basketball World Cup

When: August 31 to September 15

Where: China

Plot: What has been widely acclaimed as the best Australian squad ever assembled is tasked with finally landing the nation a medal. No pressure.

Tassie subplot: The recently-announced 17-man squad is headlined by Launceston-born, PCYC product and West Launceston Primary School alumni Chris Goulding. And 10 NBA players.

Men's Rugby World Cup

When: September 20 to November 2

Where: Japan

Plot: Without a win this century, Michael Cheika's hopes rest on the broad shoulders of Israel Folau. [What do you mean 'maybe I should check that'?]

Tassie subplot: Who could possibly forget the 2003 clash between global heavyweights Romania and Namibia in Launceston, apart from everyone who went.

The 2003 Rugby World Cup comes to Launceston's York Park.

The 2003 Rugby World Cup comes to Launceston's York Park.

Athletics World Championships

When: September 27 to October 6

Where: Doha, Qatar

Plot: Hot on the heels of FIFA and other such incorruptible souls, athletics is the latest sport to sell out to Qatar and its air-conditioned promises.

Tassie subplot: Javelin thrower Hamish Peacock, runners Stewart McSweyn and Jack Hale, The Sunday Examiner columnist Brian Roe ... the list is endless.

Stewart McSweyn taking on the world. Picture: AAP

Stewart McSweyn taking on the world. Picture: AAP