I know people who swear by a quick kip to keep them powering through their day.
They schedule in a nanna nap in the afternoon, and it gives them the energy to achieve amazing feats that I can only imagine.
Things like going out in the evening, and not turning into a grumpy old sod after 7pm.
The mind boggles.
I, on the other hand, come from a long line of humans who have not developed this adaptation, a curse I have passed on to all my children (something that became obvious from the age of about 18 months).
Daytime sleep is as impossible for us as breathing underwater or seeing in the dark.
Some creatures can do it, just not us.
At least, not without a fever or a tranquilising dart.
There are even some people who have achieved what I consider to be peak snooze - the coffee nap.
A combination of two of the best things in the world – coffee and sleep – these people enjoy a warm cuppa, drift off before the shot hits, then awake refreshed.
Not just from the nap, mind you, but from the caffeine that has now entered their system.
Double whammy. Genius.
Me? No can do.
So I double my coffee intake to cope, which is not the same.
Then there are the frequent flyers who can take their seat on the plane, nod at their neighbours, do up their seatbelt, and fall asleep. For hours. Sitting up. In a plane.
Meanwhile, those of us not talented in this area watch a whole season of Brooklyn 99, drink the free wine, cry with tiredness, and get off the plane looking like Keith Richards after a particularly rough night.
If I decide that I really must attempt a quick snooze (reasons might include any occasion that involves me leaving the house at night) I approach it like a professional sportsperson planning a workout.
I need exactly the right clothing – not too tight or constraining; a precisely calibrated temperature – achieved through a combination of ventilation and bedclothes; and the perfect reading material – nothing too sad or exciting.
Still I usually fail.
So I’ve decided to encourage my children to marry people with the nap gene.
Then my faulty legacy has at least a 50/50 chance of being wiped out.
- Michelle Haines Thomas
