HAWKEYE: You won't have to put up with it anymore

Hawkeye was sent this photo on Facebook – but unfortunately it’s not thought to be from the Hawkesbury. No-one can question this dedicated fisherman’s credentials – with a tape measure tattooed onto his leg for an instant size guide to the merits of his – or anyone else’s – catch.

Santa snub

I got Santa a good one at Coles at Richmond Mall last week when I was in there to get something for lunch. A Santa was walking up and down the aisles ringing his bell and as I walked to the vegetable section it was grating on me more and more, like when a kid is screaming the whole time its poor mother is shopping. I could hear he was approaching as I was looking at the salad bags. He turned the corner and I turned to eyeball him. He looked me in the eye and said ‘Ho ho ho’ in an unenthusiastic way. I said “No I’m not!” and turned back to the salads. There was a second’s pause, then a laugh – and he shuflled off, ringing his bell in a desultory fashion up past the bananas.

Nailing it for Xmas

Speaking of Santa, the nail salon was like his workshop the night before Christmas on Friday (December 16). Every chair was full for the pedicures, and every seat at the manicure tables. There will be a lot of sparkly fingers around the Hawkesbury this Christmas.

Thundershirt for Blackie?

A press release received from a pet insurance company suggested toys and accessories for your dog. One was a perspex dome called a Pet Peek Window about 20cm across with a solid rim. You cut a circle the right size in your fence at dog height and screw it in and your dog can stick his snout in it to see what’s going on out in the street (or in your next door neighbour’s yard, lol). There was also a ‘thundershirt’. The blurb says “the unique design allows torso compression that helps your pet during anxious times. The shirt can leave your pet feeling confident, calm and soothed during times of stress”.

Doing the Harold Holt

It’s a bit embarrassing having my mug on the front page this week due to me leaving the paper. (I guess it’s in the tradition of shaving your mate’s eyebrow when he’s drunk). I salute both Hawkeye readers and hope they join me in always looking at the world through the lens of stupidity.