More than a month after the thorough round of commemorations and publicity of the 50th anniversary of the Battle of Long Tan, the Gazette asked a veteran of that battle if the commemorations and very public acknowledgement of his contribution had begun to expunge his anger and bitterness at the whole Vietnam episode of his life.
Cranebrook’s Terry Ryan’s answer was complex but there was a ray of light at the end.
The Gazette previously interviewed him in August about his experience in the Battle of Long Tan, for the 50th anniversary.
In that story Mr Ryan said veterans of Long Tan were angry about their treatment during the battle, being “hung out to dry” by not getting reinforcements, and at having to bury the 245 Viet Cong dead with shovels as the commanding officers didn’t want to risk their bulldozers.
His eyes flashed as he said he knew all the dead from the battle, but there was only one from his section – Paul Large, of Coolah, near Mudgee.
Despite all the ceremonies for the 50th anniversary, he still doesn’t feel the 108 individuals who were in the battle have received sufficient recognition.
“Out of 108 only a few have received special recognition. Every soldier who served in an infantry battalion at Vietnam should receive some recognition.”
They had, back at the time, from the US when Presidential Citations from Lyndon Johnson were handed out after the war. They were also offered awards by the South Vietnamese government, but by the time it came around to awarding them, that government no long existed, so the Australian government said they couldn’t accept it.
“But now we can wear the South Vietnamese Cross of Valour with Palm,” he said with satisfaction. He is bitter they were acknowledged by those two governments but not our own until decades later.
Why did he think that was?
“Your guess is as good as mine!” he said. “It’s ironic that the officers always get recognition – they’re the ones who put people up for awards!”
He said one officer who wasn’t awarded to the extent he should have been was Delta Company’s senior NCO, Sergeant Major Jack Kirby who was awarded a DCM [Distinguished Conduct medal]. Mr Ryan and others feel he should have scored the VC.
“It was him and what he did that day that kept us together, right to the very end, running around, supplying us with ammunition, carrying wounded back to a semi-safe area,” Mr Ryan said.
“Even when the Viet Cong were coming he stayed with us, crouching down amongst all of us, going man to man. He was wonderful, he really was, he was like everyone’s father. He was about twice our age. He’d been to the Malayan emergency and Borneo.
“He was killed in the January or February after by friendly artillery fire.”
He also feels that the intensity of the battle at Long Tan should have resulted in special awards, as “nearly a whole section was wiped out”.
“When they went in next day [to the scene of the battle] they [the fallen]were still lying facing the enemy with their weapons in the firing position. It looked like they were asleep as the rain had washed away all the blood.” He said two were still alive, and both were saved.
His sympathies don’t just lie with our side. He made a surprising comment about the recent issue of veterans not being allowed by the Vietnamese government to visit the site of the battle this year.
“There’s been so much from the PM and the Veterans Affairs minister about that, but when that announcement was made at Canberra, Tom, Kevin and I [fellow Long Tan veterans] clapped,” he said.
He explained that a number of vets had made money from the pilgrimages, “and the three of us believe there were heroes on both sides”.
“If they’re going to hold anything it should be a joint one with the Vietnamese. They’re our friends now. They had far more casualties – 245 bodies. They carried away another 300 overnight. That must have taken immense courage. Army intelligence suggests there were 800 casualties [on their side] in all.
“The North Vietnamese declared that battle a success for them, as propaganda. They said they wiped us out and our tanks so I can understand them being sensitive to us going over there.
“But the winners write the history. The Vietnamese people struggled against the Chinese, French and Americans. My local baker is from Da Nang. His brother used to do this [cocks fingers like a gun] every time I walked in the shop,” he smiled.
“I would like to go back to Vietnam but as an individual, not part of a group and would love to meet some of the former soldiers I fought.”
A couple of years ago however he found he’d travelled back there in a way he didn’t want. A friend took him to the Vietnam War hall at the Australian War Memorial with a hauntingly realistic jungle fighting soundscape.
“It was very realistic,” he said, shaking his head. “They had a chopper there, and the sounds over the speaker, then there was an explosion and I was on the floor. I was surprised and shocked [at his instant reaction]. I got over it quickly though.”
The stress of the battle haunts him physically. “I still see the waves [of Viet Cong] coming at us in their hundreds. It was like shooting ducks in a gallery. I was feeling the fear but also sorry for them – what they would have gone through to do that.
“I still have nightmares, probably every night, but fortunately I always wake up before anything real bad happens. I’m just used to it.”
He said the 50th anniversary commemorations began on the Friday before the anniversary of Long Tan when the Naval Association put on a big Vietnam vets’ dinner for 250 at Rooty Hill RSL.
“It was a very big night. I had to cancel my golf game the next day!” he said with a smile.
At the dinner large photos of the 18 who died at Long Tan featured prominently, and Rita Thomas, the sister of one of those killed in the battle, Jack Jewry - put a poppy on her brother’s photo, and Mr Ryan put one on another photo.
On August 14 he attended the Springwood Vietnam Veterans’ Day march and ceremony. Then on the day of the anniversary they were flown to Canberra then to the 6th Battalion parade at Enoggerah in Queensland the next day then back to Sydney, all over three days. He ran into Tom Humphries and another Long Tan veteran he hadn’t seen for 50 years, Kevin Graham who was wounded in the chest during the battle.
Have those events begun to make him feel more at ease with his memories?
“I’m still extremely bitter, but the Vietnam Vets’ Day at Springwood on August 14 – I got more closure that day than ever before,” he said. “It was very personal. That’s where I met Tom Humphries. We each thought the other was dead. It was 50 years since we’d seen each other.
“We both recognised each other as we approached. We led the march that day. As the ceremony began we were both called up and introduced to the crowd and that actually felt very, very good.”
He said at the function afterwards they were presented with a small gift from a local Vietnamese doctor and her daughter, thanking the community for welcoming them to their country.
“She also made a large donation for veterans who lost their homes in the big bushfire [at Winmalee]. Her father was a former South Vietnamese Army paratroooper. It was very moving.
“The Springwood day, the Rooty Hill dinner gave us some closure and the parade at Enoggerah was also fantastic. The Governor General spoke at that and his comments were directed to us. He said ‘never let soldiers of today coming home be treated like we were’. Even the RSL eventually let us in and now the RSLs are virtually run by Vietnam vets.”
Linking up with other Long Tan vets Tom Humphries and Kevin Graham was a real and lasting benefit from the 50th anniversary events.
“Tom’s got a small farm [at Cowra] and Kevin drives cattle trucks. I ring Tom once a week and he rings me. I sent them both a copy of the new David Cameron book on the battle, and a bottle of wine and a Blue Mountains Gazette [with the story of the Vets’ day at Springwood].
“I’ll go to Cowra for one of their ceremonies, and I might go to New Zealand for the 51st ceremony.”
He’s also giving a talk to Windsor Rotary and the Blue Mountains Air Cadets soon.
