The Ashes represents one of sport's greatest rivalries and there will be no love lost between Australians and the English when the two teams meet for the latest Test series on English (and Welsh) soil.
With the first Test at Cardiff starting on Wednesday night we bring you the musings and in-house arguments between two Perth-based Fairfax journos. One a whingeing Pom, one a ridgy-didge Aussie
Cricket lovers Brendan "Yob" Foster (an Emu Export-swilling, snag-devouring, convict with fond memories of taking three for zip in a under 13s game) and David "Snob" Baker (a cocktail-sipping, scone-eating, pale Pommie who often relives his underwhelming 32 not out coming in at number 10 at the age of 16.)
Throughout the series we'll pose important question such as can Alastair Cook come up with a more imaginative field then three slips and a gully? Will the Aussie selectors finally realise Shane Watson is crap? Or will Joe Root be called away to play a Hobbit in the next Lord of the Rings franchise?
There will be plenty of arguments in the next couple of weeks. All over this tiny urn!
Most memorable Cardiff moment in the past:
Yob: It's slim pickings, considering the two teams have only played their once (2009). This hurts, but rabbits Monty Panesar and Jimmy Anderson batting out the last hour to save the test. It was a critical moment in the series, which the Poms won 2-1.
Snob: Watching Panesar and Anderson grind out an underserved draw was nailbiting. Seeing Ricky Ponting have a cry about England time wasting was great. Baby.
Cardiff prediction:
Yob: Aussies to win. Why? While Ryan Harris' retired abruptly and the top order is still prone to the odd collapse they still have a better bowling attack then the Poms. I think David Warner and Steve Smith will pile on the runs.
Snob: Draw. Why? For a start its Wales and it can't go five days without rain. But it's also a pitch that tends not to do a great deal and the boundaries are short. I expect runs for both sides (with the exception of Shane Watson) and difficulty in picking up 20 wickets.
Will Watson score more than eight? Can he finally turn it on against the Poms
Things to look out for in the first test:
Yob: If the Poms try and produce a flat deck at Cardiff, off-spinner Nathan Lyon will come into his own. He could be the wildcard for the whole series. But don't be surprised if Cardiff is a batting paradise.
Snob: Nathan Lyon to be targeted by English batsmen. They see him as the weak link in the side. Also, Adam Voges. Having watched him for both WA and in his debut against the Windies he looks like he'll never get out.
Most likely to happen:
Yob: Fast bowler Mitchell Johnson and New Zealand-born (cough) all-rounder Ben Stokes will resume their verbal stoush. Stokes has the capacity to rattle the Aussies simply with his mouthy gob.
Snob: All of the Aussie seamers chucking down bouncers to Stuart 'I'm-a-bit-scared-of-the-ball' Broad when he comes to the crease. Michael Clarke to say something inappropriate at any given stage.
Will Nathan Lyon quietly go about his business or will he be targeted by England?
Headline Monday:
Yob: Australia goes one-up after Warner's double-ton. The headline won't be on Monday it will be on Sunday after Australia wraps the game up in under four days.
Snob: Rain prevents Aussie win... is there anywhere else we can put Watson in the batting order?
Prediction for the series:
Yob: Australia will win 3-1.
Snob: England scrape unlikely 2-1 win
